Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize