I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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