let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
