You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My vagina is officially offended.
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