Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
