Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
