So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
