When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I have post one night stand depression
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
