Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
