Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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