I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
how drunk are you?
Several
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize