FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
