More tranny stories later!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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