i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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