im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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