Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
