Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
