Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
