I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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