so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize