Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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