i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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