I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
