evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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