Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize