When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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