Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
