She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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