Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
