TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
