Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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