Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize