Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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