sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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