I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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