Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wish I only lived at night.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize