Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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