If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
