Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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