I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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