i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
