please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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