What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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