well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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