What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
