how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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