He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
