Yo dont text me then not text me
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
