When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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