So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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