I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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