No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
