I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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