i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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