do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
