margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
