you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
