O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize