is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm like, not good at living.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
