Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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