So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
