i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
