I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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