I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
